Today, I'm supposed to tell you guys why I called my blog She.Unapologetic. Sometimes I'm not sure of the reason, but there's this moment that happens every single day, where I am faced with choosing to be who I really am, saying what I really think I want to say, doing what I really think I want to do, or living up to other people's expectations. It's a fine line to walk, especially for someone like me. I have many spiritual gifts. Compassion is not one of them. People's expectations of me and "needs" from me can be very low on my list if they are not properly communicated. And even when they are, if I determine it's outside of my realm of control, or feel ill-equipped to provide, it probably won't get done. This blog was an attempt for me to live out all that I am to the fullest of my abilities. As you can tell by now I struggle with procrastination and inconsistency fueled by doubt and anxiety. But I'm also a mom. I'm a wife. I'm a daughter. I'm a black woman. I am a believer. I care about politics and fashion. I love poetry and economics. I love to learn. I love to live, and live very deeply. I have many, many, MANY opinions, and for my entire life I've been told to shield them from almost everybody. I've been encouraged to apologize for my opinions.
But this blog was supposed to be the place where I could share every part of who I am and not be afraid. This was supposed to be the only place on Earth where I could be truly naked and exposed, not for just me and my own personal growth, but for those out there who share my fears of letting the world in and trusting people with the realities of who we are. We are all so complex, and we deal with so much in our own minds. It's hard to carry that burden around every single day and acquire new ones as the days go on. The burden of being as awesome as we are can be sickening sometimes because life doesn't always afford us the opportunity to recklessly express our awesomeness.
But here, on this blog, is a space where you can loudly (or quietly) say Amen or hell no to my quirks and my qualms. You can help me process through this thing called life while I help you. It's a space where black women and Christian women and women women can all be authentic to who they are without feeling like they had to fit the norms of any particular title. You can come here, feel, and think, and know, and not apologize. You can come here and be you. We may not always agree, but I will always respect and seek understanding and most importantly
Love,
Sabrina
